


Savior

by listentotheink



Category: One Direction
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-09
Updated: 2013-02-09
Packaged: 2017-11-28 16:03:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 794
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/676269
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/listentotheink/pseuds/listentotheink
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes, Louis wonders what he would do without his Harry.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Savior

Sometimes, Louis wonders what he would do without his Harry.

 

His green-eyed, mop of curls, deep voiced, big handed, hipster boy who was always there. A consistent ear and a steady lover. His tall gangly boy with the skinny jeans and over sized jumpers. His personal chef, who was always there with a cuppa and a cuddle when Louis was hating the world. The one who had taken Louis’ left wrist in his hand the first time he met him, and ran his thumb over the scars gently. His grip steady, while Louis tried to rip his hand away.

 

He wondered if he would have ever stopped making the neat cuts on his skin if he hadn’t met the Cheshire boy when he had. he wonders if he would have been in a rehab center undergoing treatment for a mental disorder that he knew he didn’t have. He was just sad, a lot. Not depressed. Just sad. And he didn’t know why. He just was.

 

His friends had all taken notice, of course, and they had tried to make it better. But they never asked questions, and he was happy about that. Questions always seemed to make his problems more profound, at least in his mind. And when he was smiling and laughing and pretending that he was okay.. They just stopped worrying, and that was okay because they assumed the worst was over, and Louis met Bethany. Even with her, in spite of the fact that she had made him feel better, there was still something missing. So they broke it off and Louis met Hannah. Not only was she his girlfriend, but she was his best friend, and they were together for so long that his friends thought for sure she was “the One”. But even then, something wasn’t quite right.

 

When he met Harry, that was when he knew. He had never been interested in men before until he met him, but there was something different. With the way they connected instantly, like they had been friends their whole lives, with the way Harry always looked at him like he was Jesus come back to earth.. He just knew, even though he was only eighteen at the time, he just knew… even though he was terrified. He wasn’t sad anymore. He was happy and terrified and in love and he just wanted to spend the rest of his life with Harry, and he knew it. And when he threw his razor away before telling Harry everything… he knew he was doing it for himself so he could be worthy of the curly haired lad. He was doing it for Harry.

 

Sometimes he wonders what he would have done if Harry had turned him away. If Harry had called him a freak and never spoke to him again. But he hadn’t. He had just gently kissed te sides of Louis’ forearm gently, and pulled him close, wiping the tears away and keeping Louis sheltered in his warm embrace. And that was just another reassurance that he had found “the One”.

 

They came out to the boys and Simon after they had been signed. And then Modest began to take over, said tehy needed to keep an image. So they made Harry a man whore and committed Louis to a girl who he didn’t really try to get along with. And they started to control his Twitter and Louis became sad again.

 

And when it got bad, Louis felt the need to protect Harry just as Harry had protected him. And then he couldn’t and he studied a razor for a long moment one morning in the bathroom before meeting Harry’s eyes in the mirror and shrinking back against the wall with angry tears full of fear and anguish rolling down his face. Harry crouched down and pulled him into his chest, kissing his head gently.

 

“I c-can’t protect you, Hazza… I t-tried so h-hard…”

 

“Let me protect you, Louis…” he muttered, and Louis nodded.

 

So yeah, sometimes Louis wonders what he would do without the green eyes and curls. Without the skinny jeans and indie t-shirts. The oversized jumpers. The tattoos, the strong arms, the pigeon toes. The deep, raspy voice that sang Ramones songs in the shower when he thought Louis wasn’t listening. The big hands and slow words. The food stealing, the cooking, the cleaning. The boxers on the floor of their room. The heat of him pressed against Louis’ back. The soft sounds of his breath that lulled Louis to sleep at night. The kisses pressed between his shoulders in the morning, to let him know he wasn’t alone. The comforting touches, the sure smiles, the encouraging words…

 

Sometimes he wondered, but he would never have to find out.


End file.
